Green Bay Forum

Quote:Giant and Mystifyingly Stupid MLK Statue Unveiled in Boston
I look to a day when people are not judged by the color of their skin, but by the quality of their sculptures.

Actually, I look to a day when people are judged by the color of their skin, too. I think people should be judged for everything; not only that, they should be judged ruthlessly and with a soul-destroying level of cruelty.

In case you hadn’t noticed that your mail isn’t being delivered today, it’s a national holiday known as Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Apart from George Washington, MLK is the only American to have a national holiday named after him. We’ve actually devolved to the point where the pointless and futile struggle for Negro Equality is deemed to be so important that the father of our country and the man who murdered our country are given equal billing.

On Friday in Boston Common, “officials unveiled a new statute [sic]” dedicated in King’s honor before a crowd which fairly gasped and squirmed in confusion upon the sculpture’s unveiling.

It took five years and cost taxpayers $10 million, but the massive, 19-ton, 20-foot-tall and 25-foot-wide bronze sculpture called “The Embrace” is even more confusing than the idea that black people are equal to everyone else.

It’s not bad enough that King was a Communist, plagiarist, had bisexual orgies, and liked to beat hookers? Now we have to keep pretending the man was a saint and that this so-called “sculpture” is anything more than a slap in the face to everything decent, wholesome, and clean?

First off, WHERE’S THE FUCKING HEAD? What . . . the . . . hell . . . exactly is this monstrosity supposed to be? Is it a giant turd? Or a massive phallus? Or two headless people performing oral sex on one another? Or two headless people trying to strangle one another, which can get difficult when you don’t have heads or necks?

Or is this sculpture supposed to depict the arc of moral justice forever looping in some kind of Negroidal Möbius strip?

How many levels of approval and green-lighting did this 38,000-pound affront to humanity go through without a single brave soul daring to speak up and say, “Okay, wait a minute . . .”?

According to conceptual artist Hank Willis Thomas, a black man whose proposal beat out those of 124 other aspiring conceptual artists, his sculpture is a homage to a famous 1964 photo of MLK hugging his wife, Coretta Scott King, upon receiving the news that he had received the Nobel Peace Prize.

“In that picture, you can see the weight of him on her shoulders as they embrace,” Thomas attempts to explain. “And I realized that this was really a metaphor for his legacy — that she carried his legacy on her shoulders for several decades after he was assassinated.”

I’m sure all of her hubby’s notorious cheatin’ and triflin’ must have weighed heavily upon Ms. King’s shoulders as well. To her immense credit, MLK’s widow croaked back in 2006 and was thus lucky enough to be spared having to witness this abomination. Picking up the slack was her charmless fat son MLK III, who was there like a big bag of farts, and I believe he proffered some sort of oration about justice and equity, or perhaps I made that last part up realizing the high statistical likelihood of it having happened.

Thomas also says that viewers can look up through his ghastly sculpture’s writhing limbs and see that the “heavens will be looking down on them,” which he describes as “a really powerful” and “holy” experience.

Okay, fine, but where are their fucking heads?