Diddy (Not DO WAH)

[k.d.]

From TWTP @ Taki's

DIDDY ACCEPTS LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FROM PEOPLE HE SAYS DON’T RESPECT BLACK PEOPLE—WHICH IS A LITTLE DISRESPECTFUL
Diddy is a black musical artist who used to call himself P. Diddy. Before that, it was Puff Daddy. Before that, it was Sean “Puffy” Combs. Before that, it was Sean John Combs. He named his son King Combs.
Instead of punishing him for such outrageous behavior, society has instead rewarded him. His estimated net worth is around $855 million. We’re not sure exactly how much of that can reasonably be considered as reparations for slavery.
At a pre-Grammy Gala in LA while surrounded by overpaid and undertalented black entertainers with equally outrageous names such as Jay-Z, Beyonce, Cardi B, Ma$e, and Lil’ Kim, Diddy was again unfairly rewarded by society with some kind of meaningless Salute to Industry Icons award.
He diddled and daddled aimlessly for a total of about 50 minutes, and 40 minutes into it he decided to accuse an industry which lavishly rewards talentless black entertainers who have ridiculous names of being racist against black people:

There’s something that I need to say to the Grammys — and I say this with love. Every year y’all be killing us. I’m speaking for all the artists and executives: in the great words of Erykah Badu, “We are artists and we are sensitive about our shit.” For most of us, this is all we’ve got. This is our only hope. Truth be told, hip-hop has never been respected by the Grammys. Black music has never been respected by the Grammys.

As the disproportionately black crowd roared with approval, Diddy cracked his whip and ordered his elderly white chauffeur to drive him back to his underwater mansion in his golden nuclear submarine.