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Monday Goad:Mayor Buttplug |
Posted by: k.d. - 04-15-2019, 12:02 PM - Forum: The Nation
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Can Mayor Buttplug Save the Democrats?
by Jim Goad ![[Image: feed-32x32.png]](https://www.takimag.com/images/global/feed-32x32.png)
April 15, 2019
photo credit: Wikimedia Commons
Pete Buttigieg
Can a gay man whose surname begins with the word “Butt” become America’s next president?
Say hello to Pete Buttigieg, who is so kind and helpful that his Twitter page phoneticizes his Maltese surname as “BOOT-edge-edge” so you don’t have to spend half a day trying to figure out how to pronounce it. Because his last name is so ridiculously inscrutable, many prefer to simply call him “Mayor Pete.” Buttigieg is the out-and-proud mayor of South Bend, IN, who declared his candidacy for president yesterday amid a wave of hype touting him as “the hottest thing in politics.” Almost entirely unknown a month ago, recent polls show him trailing only Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders in a cluttered field of Democratic candidates.
Biden is a straight white male, which is a severe liability in the modern Democratic milieu, even though he bends over backwards apologizing for it. Sanders is Jewish but suffers the misfortune of existing in a climate where Jews are still largely considered white—they have yet to fully shake that stigma.
Both Biden and Sanders are also in their late 70s and are seeking to appeal to an increasingly youthful demographic. There’s also Beto O’Rourke, who’s much younger than those doddering septuagenarians but then again is saddled with the ignominy of being a straight white male.
Like O’Rourke, Buttigieg is young—if elected, he’d become the youngest president ever—but what sets him apart from the rest of the Democrats’ unfashionably white males is that he is gay. Therefore, even though he’s Harvard-educated and independently wealthy, he’s “oppressed.” And in the modern Democratic Party, you’re not a winner unless you’re a loser, at least in historical terms.
I mean, he doesn’t merely engage in sexual activities that Leviticus declares to be an abomination before the Lord Jehovah. He plays piano, harmonica, and guitar. He speaks eight languages and allegedly learned Norwegian just so he could read a novel. He’s a Rhodes scholar and an Afghanistan war vet. He refers to himself as “definitely the only left-handed, Maltese American Episcopalian gay millennial war veteran in the race.”
So it’s not as if engaging in sodomitical relations with his legal husband is the man’s only selling point; it’s definitely the main one that they’re pushing, though.
As far as his policy positions go, I’m not sure he actually has any. He’s in favor of universal healthcare, as if that distinguishes him from the 300 or so other freaks who are running for the Democratic nomination. He apparently likes the environment. He thinks organized labor is cool; on the other hand, he doesn’t think wealth inequality is cool at all. School shootings? Mayor Pete doesn’t like ‘em. Legalized abortions? Likes ‘em. Bike lanes? Likes them, too. Corporations? Nah. Pollution? Double nah, because corporations cause it.
“For the Democrats, who seem to be gearing up for a 2020 platform that doesn’t stray far beyond “White Males Suck,” here’s a white male who literally sucks—and they’re making it his main selling point.”
See if you can find anything that anyone on Planet Earth has said throughout history that is more vague than this public statement from Mayor Buttplug:
Quote:What matters is our everyday life, and our everyday life is subject to the decisions that are being made by people with power over our life, and that’s what elections are all about…So many other things matter, especially having a sense of who you are and what you care about….This generation, if nothing changes, could be the first in American history to earn less than our parents if we don’t do something different. So let’s do something different….We can’t just polish off a system so broken. It is a season for boldness and a focus on the future.
Dude just blew my mind as hard as he probably blows his husband.
Is all that vapidly feel-good verbiage any more profound that Obama’s “hope” and “change” sloganeering that bewitched the public back in 2008? Is there any quantitative difference between Pete Buttigieg and Barack Obama besides the fact that Pete has less melanin and is married to someone who is confirmed to be a man?
Try as hard as I do to be aggressively homophobic, I’m not even sure whether being a rump-wrangler has much to do with one’s managerial skills and political vision. But for the Democrats, who seem to be gearing up for a 2020 platform that doesn’t stray far beyond “White Males Suck,” here’s a white male who literally sucks—and they’re making it his main selling point.
You see, it’s important that Mayor Pete likes having sex with other men. Despite the monstrous deficit, the endless foreign wars, the looming doom that is automation, the lack of any cultural or social glue that’s keeping the nation from spinning out of control, the totalitarian lurch toward speech suppression and thought control, what the country really needs right now—more than anything, I swear—is having a guy in the White House who has sex with another guy in the White House. It’s important because of, you know, history and oppression and hatred and the fact that the country is too divided.
Like all of his other white-male competitors, Buttigieg has bowed down, kissed the ring, and admitted that he enjoys unearned and unfair white privilege, but he wants you to forgive him because, well, because he likes penises.
But because we’re dealing with leftists—who are never satisfied until the ship points Due Left and falls off the edge of this flat Earth—and already there are bitchy murmurs of whether Buttigieg is “gay enough.”
A recent op-ed in something called The Outline laments that “Mayor Pete
might be the most palatable gay man in America,” and “That’s precisely the problem”:
Quote:There is a certain kind of gay guy. He is very likely white. He would say that he is in his “mid-thirties,” although he is much closer to the end than to the beginning of his last credibly young decade. Older women think he is handsome; younger men are not so sure. He is a professional of some kind — not ostentatiously wealthy, but comfortable enough to take the occasional ski trip in Colorado or spring vacation in Spain. He probably enjoys “the theater.” He is sure to mention at some point that he likes to read.
The article then goes on to chastise Buttigieg for making a huge point of the fact that he met his super-gay hubby through a dating site called Hinge—which welcomes straights as well as gays—rather than the low-T-cell-count gay hookup app called Grindr.
You can’t win with these people. And that’s why, barring a sudden flash of insight among Democrats or Donald Trump’s untimely death, the Democrats will lose in 2020.
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President Javanka |
Posted by: k.d. - 04-12-2019, 01:47 PM - Forum: The Nation
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All Hail President Javanka
by Ann Coulter ![[Image: feed-32x32.png]](https://www.takimag.com/images/global/feed-32x32.png)
April 11, 2019
photo credit: Bigstock
While other reporters waste their time examining Donald Trump’s public statements, interviewing his high school classmates and poring over legal filings, investigative reporter Vicky Ward has produced the definitive book on our current president.
For example, did you know our president got breast implants in high school (Ivanka claimed she was just “curvy”), bought his way into Harvard (Jared is even dumber than you thought), and together have no books in their New York apartment? (Some dispute that there are no books, citing “a few art books” or “decorator-curated books.”)
Ward’s recently released blockbuster, “Kushner, Inc.,” tells you all this and more about our actual commander in chief: President Javanka.
On the bright side, Jared has stopped rolling his eyes so much about his father-in-law now that Trump is president, er, “president.” Until Trump’s nomination was a virtual lock, Jared was back in New York pretending not to be related to him.
Only after Trump had racked up a slew of primary wins did a lightbulb go on in Jared’s head: Hey! This presidential campaign could be great for business! According to a close associate, Jared viewed the campaign as a terrific “networking opportunity.”
In short order, Jared moved himself in, and moved campaign manager Corey Lewandowski out.
Trump’s loyal campaign manager had been with him through the “Mexican rapists” speech, Macy’s dumping Trump’s ties, the “McCain isn’t a war hero” controversy, the Muslim ban, the “hand size” embarrassment, and on and on and on. But when all was said and done and Trump was still cruising to victory, Jared and Ivanka walked in and delivered an ultimatum to Trump: “It’s Corey or us.”
“Jared’s BFF, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS), and the crown prince of Abu Dhabi, Muhammad bin Zayed (MBZ), refer to Jared as “the clown prince.””
Jared would later shyly cop to being “(The Man Who) Won Trump the White House,” as a Forbes magazine cover story put it.
And who understood the beating heart of the Trump voter like Jared and Ivanka? With Javanka in charge, the campaign schedule was soon bristling with such items as “women’s empowerment week,” “education week” and “entrepreneur week.”
In no time, Trump was 16 points down and sinking fast. Steve Bannon was brought in, whereupon he promptly threw out all the Working Women’s Intersectional Global Warming weeks and got back to Trump’s issues.
Jared assured Bannon that the campaign had $25 million on hand. That’s when Bannon had to explain “debits” to Kushner. The campaign had $25 million — provided you didn’t count all the unpaid expenses. When those were included, it turned out the campaign was in debt.
As the SAT board had discovered, math wasn’t Jared’s strong suit.
Although it has been well reported that Jared’s Harvard admission was purchased for him by his father, Ward produces a shocking new detail. Of the five tracks at Jared’s high school, he wasn’t at the bottom of track one, perhaps suitable for a lesser Ivy League with solid SAT scores. He wasn’t even in track two. Jared was in track three.
But now he has co-opted the Make America Great Again movement for his own personal advancement. I guess that makes him smarter than Trump.
Apart from staging photo-ops, including her “princess moment” at the inaugural ball (her words), Ivanka’s first order of business upon winning the presidency was assigning White House office space. Her map showed a big office for her, a big office for Jared — and also a nice corner office, which was designated “Trump family office.”
Transition officials, Ward reports, “were surprised that the first lady did not appear to have an office. So, too, was Melania Trump, who quickly put an end to Ivanka’s scheming.”
Jared’s BFF, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS), and the crown prince of Abu Dhabi, Muhammad bin Zayed (MBZ), refer to Jared as “the clown prince.” Bone-cutter MBS assured those around him that he had Jared “in my pocket.”
MBS and MBZ derided Jared’s Middle East peace plan as infantile, while using him to achieve their objective: war with Qatar. According to an American businessman’s leaked emails, their attitude was, “Nobody would even waste a cup of coffee on him if it wasn’t for who he is married to.”
As one former top White House official explained: “Jared never understands the details of anything. He’s just impressed by names.”
Following meetings at the White House and also with the Kushners over their 666 Fifth Avenue property, former Qatari Prime Minister Sheikh Hamad bin Jassim reported back to the emir that “the people atop the new administration were heavily motivated by personal financial interest.”
After Ivanka’s speech introducing her father at the Republican National Convention — rivaled only by Billy Carter’s introduction of his brother, Jimmy! — she tweeted from her personal account: “Shop Ivanka’s look from her #RNC speech.”
After the Trump family was interviewed on CBS’s “60 Minutes,” Ivanka’s company emailed out a “style alert” advertising the $10,800 diamond bracelet she’d worn on the show — “available from Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry.”
Ivanka has managed to win a slew of trademarks in China since her father became the Figurehead President, with several approvals being fast-tracked at about the same time Trump was hosting Chinese President Xi Jinping at Mar-a-Lago.
Instead of “Make America Great Again,” the motto of the Trump presidency is, as one of Trump’s legal spokesmen put it: “The advance team for Jared and Ivanka.”
This is not what anyone voted for
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Brady Bunch? |
Posted by: k.d. - 04-11-2019, 07:07 PM - Forum: The Nation
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The Brady Bunch vs The Official Narrative
Karen De Coster
The non-scientific purveyors of vaccination nation propaganda swear by “the science” (that they don’t even read, or understand) as overall proof that all vaccinations are always beneficial to the herd, and that individuals – according to “the science” – cannot be potentially harmed. And that’s because the official narrative says so. In fact, most of the opinions expressed by the non-medical, pro-vaxx, armchair scientists on social media are overwhelmingly in favor of forced vaccinations and/or the purging of non-vaccinated individuals from public places and forums. This, they say, is justice for the rest of the herd. They scream their vaccination decrees and they shout down skepticism. Then they shame those who don’t partake, and they demand conformity. The herd carries a tremendous amount of hatred and bigotry for anyone who dares to dissent from their mob-think.
Yet Big Media – including Facebook, Amazon, Hulu, etc. – has been pulling videos, documentaries, films, and TV episodes that display any manifestation of skepticism or criticism of the dogma around the pro-vaxx line.
The Brady Bunch, in Season 1, had an episode where Peter came home with the measles and Mom and Dad got ’em all together to pass it on to the whole brood to get the measles thing over and done. Most folks my age remember this, including the “measles parties,” where neighbors would want in on the measles sharing.
CBS recently pulled that episode (Season 1, Episode 13) from its online Brady Bunch access because, apparently, it’s just not acceptable to have a 50-year-old TV show display such brazen nonconformity toward received opinion. If this concept of a measles party is so ridiculous and the herd mouthpieces are so sure of their science, why do the propagandists for The Herd deem it necessary to eradicate any and all challenges to its official narrative across all media outlets? What are they really afraid of?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_conti...R6NEv6yCEg
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Dummies @ NBC |
Posted by: k.d. - 04-11-2019, 03:00 PM - Forum: The Nation
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The security state agents for NBC/MSNBC cheering the Trump administration for arresting Assange because they're authoritarians who only pretend to care about press freedom when it advances their partisan interests.This is what happens when news outlets merge with the US Govt Glenn Greenwald
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Canceled |
Posted by: k.d. - 04-11-2019, 12:56 PM - Forum: Local Chatter
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Only in Wisconsin is the statewide tornado drill cancelled because of a blizzard during a flood.
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Fighting in Grandpa's War |
Posted by: k.d. - 04-10-2019, 12:32 PM - Forum: The Nation
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They Are Still Dying in Afghanistan
Laurence M. Vance
Afghans, yes, but most Americans don’t care about them. I note that three U.S. soldiers were killed in Afghanistan on Monday. This makes seven for the year. Not a lot you say? But why should any of them have shed even one drop of blood in Afghanistan? Is anything that happens in Afghanistan even worth one drop of American blood? I am sure that some of the sons (and daughters) of U.S. servicemen who “served” in Afghanistan 15 years ago are now “serving” there. Who will be the first grandchild of a U.S. soldier to fight in the same war that his grandfather fought in?
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